What On Earth Am I Here For?
It has been just over four months.
I still can't believe that he is gone.
I have not been able to write about it.
I've tried.
I want to....
I am pretty much a very private person.
I have struggled with how to talk about Tony.
We were together for 15 years.
That's basically half of my lifetime.
I'm not even sure who I am without him.
March on.
That's what they tell the soldiers to do.
I have tried every way possible to keep busy.
To keep my mind busy.
It's hard.
It's hard to think about facing the rest of my life forever changed.
Pain does not even begin to describe the way it feels.
I know that God is in control.
I know because I feel his arms around me every day.
You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master' seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
-Russell Kelfer
I am taking a 40-day journey.
I am reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.
I will be posting my thoughts here on the blog.
Posts
5 comments:
I haven't done much "following" on blogs lately, but I just came across this post and I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your loss. I don't have any great, encouraging, and even comforting words for you because I can't even imagine what you're going through. But I just wanted you to know that you have some extra prayers coming your way.
PS..The pics where one of your kids spelled out LOVE with their hands...frame them. Thats a priceless gift! You should be proud (and I know you are). I only hope my daughter is half that thoughtful when she gets older!
Prayers for an enormous amount of strength and peace to be given to you are going up everyday and will not cease. I know the Lord will keep his arms around you everyday and be so near to you. God Bless you and yours.
I admire your strength...I want to offer you many, many prayers. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Words cannot describe how sorry I am.
This post was so touching! I have tears in my eyes and am giving you a big virtual hug right now...
{{hugs}}
Jess, thanks for the comment on my blog.
I don't really know what has happened in your life recently, but it sounds like you have found some inner strength.
Jess I know it is so hard but just keep putting your faith in the good LORD above and keep the faith. We do not know the plans he has for us but everything has a reason we just don't understand it. I am still praying for you and your family. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you all and how hard it still has to be. Just remember you have lots of friends and I am always here if you need to talk. I don't know if I could help. I can just keep praying.
Post a Comment